What to say when a student says "I can't do this anymore"

In the first moment

• "Thank you for telling me. I'm glad you did."
• "That sounds really heavy. Can you tell me a bit more about what you mean?"
• "Sometimes when people feel like this, they think about hurting themselves or ending their life. Is that something you've been thinking about?"

Asking directly about suicide does not put the idea into someone's head. It shows you can hear the answer.

What to avoid

• Rushing to reassure ("You'll be fine") before you have listened.
• Promising to keep it secret.
• Showing shock or turning the conversation to yourself.

What happens next

Tell the student honestly that you need to share this with someone who can help, and who that person is. Stay with them or make sure another adult does until the handover happens. Record what was said in their words, then check in on yourself too.

More questions from teachers ask

• When should a teacher refer a student?
• What teachers should and shouldn't do when a student discloses distress
• Safeguarding vs mental health support: what is the difference?
• All guides